Slaughterhouse Rulez review; does it rule?

By Adam Benfell and Wesley Emmott  
Slaughterhouse Rulez, is the first production from Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s new production company, Stolen Picture. Directed by Crispian Mills, the film made its debut on Halloween. To be frank, it is not off to a great start.
The plot of Slaughterhouse Rulez isn’t anything special. It revolves around a school boy who’s transferred to a mysterious private school in the middle of nowhere, that happens to be attacked by subterranean monsters brought about by fracking, which is topical if nothing else.
Nothing controversial is really done with this plot; you have your cliques, obvious protagonists at the bottom of the totem pole, antagonists who are either idiotic or inhumanely cruel with no redeeming qualities and an unnecessary romantic subplot with little to no chemistry. I know going in you can’t expect a lot of subtlety from a film called Slaughterhouse Rulez, but a little bit would be nice.
The characters in this aren’t much to write home about either. Our lead Don Wallace (Finn Cole) is essentially the bland public school boy, entering the new world of the private school, Slaughterhouse. Here he is roomed with the most developed character in this story, Willoughby Blake (Asa Butterfield), who has a hidden subplot that progresses well for most of the film. The love interest of the lead, Clemsie Lawrence (Hermione Corfield) adds little to the story. Even less than some of the side characters, which is very cliché.
Simon Pegg and Nick Frost’s characters were both fairly underwhelming. In particular, Pegg’s character, Meredith Houseman, plays on the same gag through the whole plot, and ends up being too pathetic to even laugh at. Frost’s character, Woody, gets some of the better lines in the film, but that doesn’t salvage his general irrelevance to the plot, to the point where it just feels like he was there for the sake of having Frost in the film.
Finally, we have Clegg (Thomas Rhys Harries), a poorly-executed antagonist whose character was not fleshed out or explained enough.
Plot and characters aside, the most important question: is it funny? Well… a little. It makes you exhale slightly faster occasionally, lightly chuckle at best. There was no significant laughter from anyone attending, making it a failed attempt at black comedy.
This film works neither as a comedy nor as a horror, so if you’re looking for some cheap laughs then it might offer something, but generally, I’d give it a miss.

Edited by Finian Jupp and Meganne Gerbeau

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